it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
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He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
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Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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