Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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