I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
