but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
