I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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