I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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