when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
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I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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