I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
