On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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