Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
