What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
