the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
