I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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