I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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