i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
