So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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