Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
