Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
