remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
