I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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