Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
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You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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