OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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