I wannas sexs uuuuu
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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