marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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