you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
