how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
