Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
