last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
