Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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