i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize