Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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