do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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