Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
