also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
