hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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