His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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