I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
