Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
