Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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