Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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