I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
