Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
