So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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