he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
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So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
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My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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