Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
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made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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