I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
