i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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