I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
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Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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