can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need to sanitize my soul.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
