so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so much tequila, so little girl.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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