god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize