the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
