marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
