Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
