you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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