Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
