I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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