god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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