I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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