Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
