i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
