Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
