She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
