that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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